“You aren’t.”
“I trusted him.”
“That doesn’t make you stupid.”
“What if I should have known?”
“What if he worked very hard to make sure you didn’t?”
She looked up.
I continued.
“Someone who lies for four years doesn’t get to blame the person who believed him.”
Her eyes filled.
“I don’t know how to start over.”
“You don’t have to figure it all out tonight.”
She leaned toward me.
I opened my arms, and she rested her head against my chest.
I held her while she cried.
For a long time, neither of us moved.
Then she lifted her face.
We were close enough that I could see the tiny gold flecks in her brown eyes.
Her gaze dropped to my mouth.
“Alex,” she whispered.
My heart pounded.
I knew what she was thinking because I was thinking the same thing.
I wanted to kiss her.
I wanted it badly enough that I had to remind myself to breathe.
But I also knew she was hurt, angry, and exhausted.
I stood up abruptly.
“I should make coffee.”
She looked away.
“Of course.”
I walked to the counter and switched on the machine.
Behind me, she said, “I’m sorry.”
I turned.
“For what?”
“For almost making a decision because I needed to feel wanted.”
I looked at her.
“Maybe you wanted to kiss me because you wanted to kiss me.”
She went still.
Neither of us spoke for several seconds.
Then I added, “But I don’t want to be the person you reach for just because Michael made you feel unwanted.”
She nodded slowly.
“That’s fair.”
“And I don’t want you waking up tomorrow wondering whether you made a mistake.”
She wiped her cheeks.
“That’s fair too.”
I returned to the floor beside her.
We drank terrible coffee in the middle of the night and talked about everything except the kiss that hadn’t happened.
When I left, she walked me to the door.
“Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for stopping.”
I swallowed.
“You don’t have to thank me for that.”
“I think I do.”
She watched me for a moment.
Then she said, “I’m beginning to remember who I am.”
I smiled.
“Good.”
“And whoever I become next, I want it to be because I chose her.”
I knew then that whatever I felt for Karen was no longer a passing attraction.
I was falling in love with her.
And that was precisely why I had to be careful.
The First Time I Saw Michael’s Real Face
Three weeks later, Michael invited Daniel and me to dinner.
He called it a family discussion.
Daniel called it a terrible idea.
I should have listened to him.
We met at a private dining room in an expensive restaurant downtown. Michael arrived in a tailored navy suit, looking as though the evening had been organized to celebrate one of his professional achievements.
Natalie sat beside him.
She was in her early forties, impeccably dressed, with a confident smile that never quite reached her eyes.
Karen was not there.
Michael had told Daniel she was too emotional to participate in a reasonable conversation.
That should have been our first warning.
The waiter had barely poured the water when Michael began speaking.
“I want us to move forward without unnecessary hostility.”
Daniel stared at him.
“You mean without Mom asking questions?”
Michael’s jaw tightened.
“I mean without turning a difficult situation into a public spectacle.”
“You had an affair for four years.”
Natalie shifted in her seat.
Michael lowered his voice.
“Marriage is complicated, Daniel.”
“Apparently, so is telling the truth.”
I looked down at my glass to hide a smile.
Michael noticed.
“Something amusing, Alex?”
“No.”
“You’ve always been close to this family. I hope you understand that there are two sides to every story.”
“I understand that four years is a long time to hide something from your wife.”
The table went silent.
Michael put down his fork.
“You should be careful about taking sides in a situation you don’t understand.”
I met his eyes.
“Then perhaps you should stop asking people to defend a situation you haven’t explained.”
Daniel stared at me.
Natalie looked uncomfortable.
Michael’s smile disappeared.
“You’re a guest here, Alex.”
“And you’re the one who invited me.”
For the first time, the polished executive looked genuinely angry.
Then he leaned back and changed tactics.
“Karen has always been emotionally dependent on me. I worry that she isn’t handling the separation rationally.”
Daniel’s expression hardened.
“Don’t talk about her like she’s a problem you need to manage.”
Michael looked surprised.
Perhaps he had expected his son to remain silent.
“I’m only concerned about her well-being.”
“Then you should have thought about that before you spent four years lying to her.”
Dinner ended shortly afterward.
Outside, Daniel stood beneath the restaurant awning with his hands in his pockets.
“I can’t believe he brought her.”
“Neither can I.”
He looked at me.
“Do you think Mom knew?”
“About Natalie?”
“About how bad it was.”
I thought about Karen sitting on her kitchen floor beside the broken glass.
“I think she knew something was wrong. I don’t think she knew how much he’d been hiding.”
Daniel stared into the rain.
“I hate him right now.”
“You’re allowed to.”
“He’s still my father.”
“You’re allowed to love someone and be angry with them.”
He looked at me.
“When did you become a therapist?”
“After years of listening to you complain about your dating life.”
