A Man Hung His Filthy, Sweaty Socks over the Airplane Seat in Front of Him, Inches from a Woman's Head – When He Woke Up, He Looked Around and Shouted, 'Who Did This?!'

"You had no right!"

    He looked startled that I'd admitted it.

"You're right. I shouldn't have touched them."

He opened his mouth triumphantly.

Then I added, "And you shouldn't have put them there."

His face darkened.

    "I'm reporting you."

"All right."

    "You shouldn't have put them there."

"I mean it, lady!"

    "I heard you."

He jabbed the flight attendant call button.

The teenage girl whispered, "Oh, this is going to be good."

Her mother whispered back, "Please don't make it worse."

    "Oh, this is going to be good."

But Captain Compost was already holding both napkins above his head.

And when the flight attendant approached, he practically shoved them toward her.

"LOOK WHAT THIS WOMAN DID TO MY SOCKS!"

The attendant glanced at the messages.

    He practically shoved them toward her.

Then at me.

Then at his feet.