I Became a Surrogate for My Brother – When He Came to the Hospital for His Newborn Daughter, He Looked at Her and Said, 'I Can't Take This Baby Home'

"You don't get to just show up," I said.

"Ivy, please. Let me talk."

My brother flinched. I wanted him to.

"The doctors said surgeries," he started. "Plural. They said therapies, braces, specialists for years. I heard the numbers, and I can't breathe."

"She's your daughter."

"I know."

"You held her for 10 seconds and handed her back like a receipt."

"I know, Ivy."

I gripped the edge of the counter because if I didn't, I was going to throw something.

"It's a condition we can work on, Ryan. Dr. Patel called yesterday. It appears to be a milder form. The baby will need surgery and follow-up care, but the doctors are optimistic about her prognosis. The doctors are also optimistic about her development and quality of life. And you walked out of that room as if she were a defect."

"That isn't what I thought."

"Then what did you think? Because from where I was sitting, you looked at your own baby that you'd asked me to be a surrogate for and decided she wasn't worth the trouble."

Ryan sat down on one of my kitchen stools, and something in his shoulders gave way. I watched my twin brother, the man who had driven me home after Gabriel's father abandoned us five years ago and told me we'd be okay, fold in half in front of me.

"I lost my job, Ivy."

I stared at him.

"What?"

"Four months ago. Right after the second trimester scan."

The clock over the stove ticked. I could hear it.

"Ryan."

"I put on a shirt and tie every morning. I sit in the coffee shop until five. I send resumes. I've had two interviews in four months, and neither called back."

"The nursery," I said slowly.

"Credit cards. Three of them. She thinks the crib came from our savings. There are no savings, Ivy. There haven't been for weeks."

I sat down too, because my legs stopped working.

"So when the doctor said surgeries," I whispered.

"I saw a bill I couldn't pay on top of bills she doesn't even know exist."

Ryan took a breath.

"And when I saw the diagnosis, I knew I could use it. Melissa will grieve, but she won't ever know I already failed her."