Now, holding that photograph in my kitchen forty years later, I wondered if grief had been the whole story.
Dad was ninety-one.
He lived at Willowcrest Nursing Residence, fifteen minutes across Bellmere.
His mind remained sharp.
I suddenly wanted to see him.
But first, I wanted Sophie Bennett.
I drove to Lily’s school the next morning.
I did not tell Dad.
I did not call anyone.
For forty years, too many people had decided what information I should receive.
I was finished giving anyone advance notice.
The office administrator recognized Sophie’s name immediately.
“She’s in the art room.”
“Is she a teacher?”
“Part-time classroom support. She also helps maintain the school archives.”
Archives.
That explained the photograph.
Maybe.
Sophie Bennett was standing beside a supply cabinet when I entered.
She looked around thirty-five.
Dark blond hair.
Brown eyes.
Small silver hoops.
Nothing about her immediately reminded me of Mara.
Then she smiled nervously.
And I stopped.
Mara used to press her tongue lightly against one tooth before smiling when she was afraid.
Sophie did exactly that.
“You’re Claire,” she said.
Not Mrs. Mercer.
Claire.
“You gave my granddaughter a photograph.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Sophie glanced toward the hallway.
“Can we sit?”
“We can stand.”
She nodded.
Fair enough.
I held up the photograph.
“Where did you get this?”
“My mother.”
My fingers tightened.
“What is her name?”
Sophie looked at me directly.
“Marianne Bennett.”
I almost laughed from disappointment.
Then she added:
“That isn’t the name she was born with.”
The room seemed to tilt.
“What was she born as?”
Sophie swallowed.
“Mara Mercer.”
I grabbed the edge of a table.
My body reacted before my mind could.
Alive.
Mara was alive.
Not might be.
Not perhaps.
Alive.
“Where?”
Sophie’s eyes filled.
“Bellmere.”
I stared.
“No.”
“She came back six months ago.”
“No.”
“She lives here?”
“She’s staying with me.”
I stepped backward.
Forty years.
Forty years of wondering whether my sister had died alone.
Forty years of imagining rivers, highways, hospitals, unidentified graves.
And she was in Bellmere.
