My Twin Sister Disappeared in Her Sunflower Sweater on Our 16th Birthday in 1986 – 40 Years Later, My Granddaughter Came Home Wearing It and Said, 'Our School Cleaning Lady Gave It to Me'
"I know."
"Did Laura ask about me?"
Dad looked down.
"Yes."
My chest tightened.
"What did she ask?"
"Whether you blamed her."
"What did she ask?"
"And what did you tell her?"
"That you'd suffered because of what she did."
I stared at him.
"Did you tell her I searched?"
"No."
I stared at him.
"Did you tell her Mom never stopped?"
"No."
"Did you tell her I would've opened that door?"
His eyes filled.
"No."
I stood.
His eyes filled.
"You didn't protect us, Dad. You spoke for us."
He started crying.
At 90, he looked smaller than I'd ever seen him.
For most of my life, that would've been enough to make me stop, but not that day.
"I love you."
He looked up.
"You spoke for us."
"But love doesn't make what you did smaller."
"I thought I was saving the family."
"You saved yourself from one difficult conversation and gave the rest of us 40 years of questions."
He had no answer.
At the door, he called my name.
"I thought I was saving the family."
I stopped.
"Are you coming back tomorrow?"
My hand stayed on the handle.
"I don't know."
Then I left.
"I don't know."
***
The next morning, I drove Sophie to school myself.
"Is this about Dolly?" she asked.
"Yes. Just not because you did anything wrong."
After she went inside, I waited near the entrance.
Dolly appeared ten minutes later.
"Is this about Dolly?"
"Emelia."
"I need five minutes."
We started walking.
"How did it go with your father?"
"He admitted Laura came home in 1992."
Dolly exhaled.
"Emelia."
"He told me what he said to her too."
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"But Dad being wrong doesn't make Laura right."
Dolly looked at me.
"He was the reason she stayed away."
"I'm sorry."
"He was one reason."
"Emelia..."
"No. I'm not asking you to defend her."
That stopped her.
I turned to face her.
"He was one reason."
"Laura was 16 when she left. I can understand a 16-year-old making a terrible choice."
Dolly's eyes dropped.
"But she wasn't 16 forever. She was 22 when she came back. She was 30, then 40."
"She was ashamed."
"So was I."
"She was 30, then 40."
"She thought you'd hate her."
"She didn't know that because she never asked."
Dolly fell silent.
"Mom carries that."
"As she should. Dad doesn't get all the blame because he's easier to be angry at."
Dolly nodded.
"Mom carries that."
"You're right."
"Does Laura know about the sweater?"
