Nothing explained why Ben was lying to me
Healthy bloodwork.
No sign of cancer.
The dates were only weeks old.
Weeks after we’d been told he was dying.
I read the words over and over until they blurred together.
If Ben wasn’t dying… then why were we getting married in a hospital?
We’d been told he was dying.
Why had the doctors told us he only had months to live?
Why was he pretending to be a dying man?
I grabbed my phone with shaking hands and photographed the reports as quickly as I could.
There were more papers underneath.
I was about to look at them when the bathroom faucet stopped running.
My heart lurched.
My time was up.
There were more papers underneath.
I slid everything back exactly where I found it and smoothed the sheet.
The toilet flushed.
I grabbed the water pitcher off Ben’s tray and pretended to pour.
Ben shuffled out, IV pole clicking beside him.
“Are you sure you’re okay, baby?” he asked. “You look a little green.”
“I’m fine,” I said. “I told you, I’m just tired.”
“Come here.”
I slid everything back exactly where I found it
He patted the edge of the bed.
I sat, and he took my hand in his.
It took everything in me not to yank it back.
I looked at the man I had loved for twenty years.
And realized I did not know him at all.
It took everything in me not to yank it back.
Ben urged me to go home and rest again, and I went.
When I stepped out into the hallway, the nurse was stocking supplies into a cart.
She glanced at my face and immediately knew.
“You looked.”
I nodded.
“I didn’t see all of it, but the reports say he isn’t sick.”
I stepped out into the hallway
She closed her eyes for a second.
“I’m sorry, but you had to see it for yourself.”
“You said he and the doctor had a plan.” I stepped closer. “What else do you know?”
“Nothing.” She lowered her voice. “I just… I’ve worked here for seven years. I’ve never seen a patient hide medical records under a mattress.”
“Then why didn’t you report it?”
“What else do you know?”
“I tried. I was told to stop asking questions.”
Nothing in her face suggested she was lying.
“What am I supposed to do now?”
“Go to the hospital administration.”
“You think they’ll believe me?”
“If you show them those reports… they’ll have to.”
“I was told to stop asking questions.”
***
The next morning, I told Ben I was running home for a shower.
Instead, I walked into Hospital Administration and asked to speak to the administrator.
She listened quietly as I placed my phone on her desk.
She studied the photographs.
Then she opened Ben’s electronic medical file on her computer.
Her expression changed.
She opened Ben’s electronic medical file.
“These reports aren’t in his chart.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means someone replaced his medical record.”
“Can someone really do that?”
“Not legally.”
“Why would anyone?”