Maybe not at all.
So I told the truth.
“No,” I said. “But I want to.”
She studied me for a long second.
Then the nurse guided her through the door, and she disappeared into the room.
I remained in the hallway, staring at the empty chair where she had been sitting.
For several minutes, I did nothing.
I didn’t visit my best friend.
I didn’t move.
I simply stood there while the life I thought I understood rearranged itself into something I barely recognized.
Eventually, I walked to the nurses’ station.
A young nurse glanced up from her computer. “Can I help you?”
“I’m here for Sophie Miller,” I said.
The nurse typed something. “Are you family?”
The word caught in my throat.
Two months ago, the answer would have been simple.
Now it was a legal question, and legally, I was nothing.
“I’m her…” I stopped.
Her what?
Ex-husband sounded too small.
The man who left her sounded too honest.
“I’m Ethan,” I said finally.
The nurse’s expression changed with recognition, but she didn’t say anything.
“I just want to know if she needs anything,” I added. “I know you can’t share information with me. I understand that. But if there’s something I can bring her, or someone I should call—”
The nurse looked past me toward Sophie’s room.
Then she lowered her voice.
“She hasn’t been eating much,” she said. “She likes peppermint tea. Not the cafeteria kind. There’s a shop two blocks over.”
It was such a small piece of information.
And yet it nearly undid me.
Peppermint tea.
Sophie drank it whenever she was anxious. She used to make it at night in our kitchen, wrapping both hands around the mug while steam curled against her face.
I nodded.
“Thank you.”
I went to see my friend, but I barely remember the conversation. Mark was propped against pillows, pale but alert after surgery, and he noticed immediately that something was wrong.
“Man,” he said, narrowing his eyes, “you look worse than I do.”
I tried to smile.
It didn’t work.
“I saw Sophie.”
Mark’s expression softened. “Here?”
I nodded.
“In a patient gown.”
He was quiet for a moment.
Then he said, “You didn’t know?”
The room seemed to shrink.
I stared at him.
“What?”
Mark closed his eyes briefly. “Ethan…”
“You knew?”
His silence answered for him.
I stepped back from the bed.
“You knew Sophie was sick?”
“Not everything,” he said quickly. “Not details. Just that she’d been having tests.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
