I had been in a conference room discussing quarterly projections while Sophie went to the hospital alone.
And that night, I came home irritated because traffic had been bad.
The memory made me feel sick.
I folded the letter carefully and sat there for a long time.
Then something about the third page pulled at me.
I opened it again.
There’s something else.
When the doctor called with the first test results, he said some hormone levels were unusual.
Unusual hormone levels.
Related to the tumor or the miscarriage.
Afraid to hope.
Afraid not to.
A strange feeling moved through me.
Not understanding.
Not yet.
But unease.
I searched the drawer again, not to pry, but because Sophie had told me to read the letter. Beside the charger was a small appointment card from St. Vincent Medical Center, tucked beneath a packet of discharge instructions.
On the back, in Sophie’s handwriting, were three words.
Ask about embryo.
I stared at them.
Embryo?
My pulse began to pound.
I checked the date on the card.
It was from the same week as the letter.
I didn’t know what it meant. Maybe it was connected to fertility preservation. Maybe it was some medical term I didn’t understand. Maybe Sophie had written it during a conversation with a specialist and forgotten.
But then I noticed another folded paper at the bottom of the drawer.
This one wasn’t addressed to me.
It was a printed message from a fertility clinic.
Dear Mrs. Miller,
We have attempted to reach you regarding the status of your stored specimen and pending consent forms. Please contact our office as soon as possible to discuss next steps.
Stored specimen.
Pending consent forms.
My mind raced backward through the years.
After the second miscarriage, Sophie’s doctor had briefly mentioned genetic testing and fertility options. We had been too devastated to continue the conversation. Or maybe I had been too devastated. Maybe Sophie had listened to more than I knew.
I took a photo of the letterhead but left the paper where it was.
Then I drove back to the hospital with Sophie’s clothes, her charger, and the letter tucked safely in my jacket pocket.
When I arrived, she was awake.
The afternoon sun fell across her blanket. She looked tired, but there was more color in her face than before.
“You read it,” she said.
I nodded.
She watched me carefully.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give it to you.”
“I’m sorry you had to write it.”
Her eyes filled.
